Friday, June 20, 2008

Lost In America: Back In The U.S.S.A.

6-20-08
DON PARDO:
Hi everybody! It's the Lost In America Show!

[cue intro music - a choir of kazoos zooting "Southern Man" by Neil Young.]

It's been ten days since the first episode of Lost In America, and boy do we have some catching up to do.

[fade intro music, lights. Cue single spot on host Lost In America.]

Our time in Newfane ended as Liz and I departed north into the staggeringly green heart of Vermont and coasted into Burlington. We don't actually know anybody there, but we had arranged to sleep on this person's couch through the inimitable couchsurfing.com. Her name was Tori and she was an all around chill person with a lovable (if trash-rooting) dog named Cassidy. Her Burlington is a great town, with a pedestrian strip, good brews (try Rock Art), a lovely farmer's market, and the opportunity to take inadvertent 20-mile bike rides, which I did.

OK, so Burlington was great. Liz and I had decided to take Lost In America international, and booked it up to Ottawa to stay with another couch.. err.. host. This is where it gets interesting (i.e. PG-13). OK. So Devan is a cool guy. Yeah, he works at Starbucks, but they're "great to work for," because of all the benefits (that don't include free wi-fi, wtf?). We get to his house a while after meeting him at his job because he had to clean up the "horrendous mess" left by his housemates. So it smelled kinda funny, and the cat had decided that clean was not interesting enough and left a strange orange mass on the carpet in the living room. We ended up taking an unoccupied room in the house (a "college" house, need I say). At first it was a bit awkward getting to chat with Devan and his housemate, Drew, but after a grocery trip it was getting better. Long story short, Andrew was starting an online business selling sex toys, of which he had two GIGANTIC BOXES in his room. WOW. It actually gets better, but I can't put it in an e-mail (no, it's not what you think!). Ottawa is a very bikable town with some very interesting architecture; the Museum of Civilization (phase II?) has lots of curves and fountains, and I suppose is mimicking the surrounding landscape, a river and some hills. There's also the Parliament building, very ornate, even at a distance. We didn't take any pictures, so I have to use my words. Actually, I think there is like one picture of Canada from the Mackinaw bridge as we were coming back into the States. Canada is camera shy.

From Ottawa we drove a day and camped by some waterfalls. We didn't know that there was a Convention Of French-First Mosquitos And Blackflies going on right at our campsite. We were out of bug repellant. Go figure. Remember that e-mail I sent from Mexico about the mosquitos in the cloud forest? It was like that. Apparently, annoying insects are tourrorists, too.

"Canada" (Algonquin for both "Expensive" and "Rain"), has succeeded in making me not really care whether I return or not. It's not that there aren't pretty parts and good people, but I think that the good ol' US of A will do me just fine. And that's the extent of my nationalism.

So now we're in Traverse City, Michigan. Last night we hung out (yet again) on a boat with our good friend Brendan who is still alive, contrary to popular belief. I have a picture of his dreadlocks as proof. He now wears suspenders with skull and crossbones on them, and the ship, the tall ship Manitou, doubles as a B&B (bunk & breakfast). Today I think we'll be going to some immense sand dunes, then camping somewhere close by before heading south-er to Grand Rapids for more adventures.

[APPLAUSE]

Love,

Lost In America, now with more Web enhancement

1 comment:

Laura said...

What, no side trip to Detroit?